Sanctification

Yep, I'm being sanctified...that's for sure. And I am way overdue in sharing with you all how the Lord sanctifies me through my children. If you haven't read Cara's blog in the last week, check it out: http://unreachedpeeps.blogspot.com. The Lord showed her something through Kyle last week and it was a great reminder to me, as well.
As you may or may not remember, I blogged last August about how I was learning about the gospel all over again and the way it applies to our every day lives. Lately in our ministry opportunities here (mostly with the youth) I have been unsettled by a lack of understanding of the gospel and what it means to be 'saved.' When I asked four girls last Sunday night if they were saved, they all said YES! When I asked them what it means to be saved, or how you are saved, three of them gave me a list of works and one flat-out said she wasn't sure. Of course we went over it and looked through Ephesians 2 -- it was a great reminder for me. A reminder that we need to be constantly aware of the richness of mercy, the great love, the grace, the kindness, the surpassing riches of Christ. I think a lot more about my sin, God's wrath, my insufficiences. Well, I had really been in 'a funk' because my thinking is really lopsided (is that a word, and if it is, is that how you spell it?)...anyway, one morning a few weeks ago, Ty was pretty wound up (imagine that) and I went to go give him a hug and love on him before he left for school. Usually he loves that and craves that attention, but that day, he didn't want me to hug him. And what came out of my mouth? "Ty, don't resist my love for you." AS IF he knows what that means. But I knew in that moment that the Lord was showing me how I was resisting the understanding of His kindness, mercy, grace, love etc. I shared all this with my Aunt Carye and she sent me a book called Abba's Child by Brennan Manning. I knew when she said she would send it to me that I needed to read it...but in the back of my mind I was resisting it still. I was telling myself "That's not a sound book, just listen to the title, yes, you're abba's child, but you really don't deserve it, and you need to read books that expose your SIN, Shea" (anyone else do this???) Well, I started reading it the day I received it in the mail from Carye...and it was just what I needed to hear. I will post some quotes in a minute but I have to share this story with you as well:
Tonight Sylas and Jacob and Ty went to the Baccalaureate service at the High School (I am recovering from Strep...again). Well, apparently Ty wet his pants and didn't tell anyone because he didn't know where the restroom was. (disclaimer: this is the first time he's had an accident in quite awhile) Tonight when they got home and were eating dinner, Sylas goes "Ty, I love you so much.....even though you teeteed your pants." Ty responded "Yeah, and Jesus is still happy with me!"
Ya think I needed to hear that?? Of course I did. I am learning to rest in the gospel. I have read C.J. Mahaney's take on it - loved it. I subscribe to Don Bebee's teaching on it -- love it too. And now Brennan Manning is really opening my eyes to who I am in Christ. Check this out:
"Come to me now, Jesus says. "Acknowledge and accept who I want to be for you: a Savior of boundless compassion, infinite patience, unbearable forgiveness, and love that keeps no score of wrongs. Quit projecting onto Me your own feelings about yourself. At this moment your life is a bruised reed and I will not crush it, a smoldering wick and I will not quench it. You are in a safe place."
Thomas Merton: "Quit keeping score altogether and surrender yourself with all your sinfulness to God who sees neither the score nor the scorekeeper but only his child redeemed by Christ."

He also quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer and teaches that guilt is an IDOL. "But when we dare to live as forgiven men and women, we join the wounded healers and draw closer to Jesus."

Now, how does this affect our ministry here?
"Grace and healing are communicated through the vulnerability of men and women who have been fractured and heartbroken by life." Isn't that the truth? I love the idea of being vulnerable people who allow others to be vulnerable. You know, the whole 'take off your mask' thing they taught you in the youth group 15 years ago??? It's SO necessary today for us as adults. Especially here in our little Eldorado world. Masks honestly make my heart sick. Vulnerability is so KEY to healing!!

One final quote (John Eagan):
"Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion."

So, our theme for girls retreat this year is BELOVED. I'm excited to share what the Lord is teaching me. I welcome your insight and counsel!! :)