So I figured I shouldn't wait until the two year anniversary of my last post to post again... :)
For the last 6 months I have put myself in a spiritual time-out. I had to examine myself and ask the Lord "Who am I?" Every mom knows how many different hats we wear on a regular basis, and I was drowning in a sea of different identities thrown at me every day. There are too many to list, and it just gets overwhelming to even think about it. Funny thing is, the Lord consistently answered my question "Who am I?" By saying "You are the daughter of the I AM." That is my identity. Who I am is wrapped up completely in the great I AM. He covers me, empowers me, inspires me, teaches me, cleanses me, heals me, walks with me, loves me, romances me, pursues me...it has been an awesome journey.
And now....He is telling me to begin to teach again....and to write. I'm not sure what this blog will turn into. But I am excited about it. I have learned to watch the hand and heart of the Lord at work each day in different ways. And I do not want to keep that to myself anymore. And I figure, it's 2010, guess I'll put it on a blog. ;)
So this week I was reading in John 17 and was moved to meditate on verse 13:
"But now I come to Thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy made full in themselves."
As I thought about that, my mind went back to when Jacob was an infant. In his first year of life there were so many milestones. I would see him roll over, begin to scoot across the floor, finally get up on hands and knees and crawl...and eventually....at the ripe age of 14 months....he began to walk. What made those occasions so joyful was sharing what I saw. I would call Sylas if he wasn't home or call my family and share the news of Jacob's latest accomplishment. It made my joy complete to share those things with people I loved.
I have been silent too long about who Christ is to me. And He has called me to write and to teach. And it is, in this way, that my joy in Him will be fulfilled. Matthew Henry says of John 17:13 -
"Christ earnestly desired the fulness of the joy of his disciples, for it is his will that they should rejoice evermore. He was leaving them in tears and troubles, and yet took effectual care to fulfil their joy. When they thought their joy in him was brought to an end, then was it advanced nearer to perfection than ever it had been, and they were fuller of it.
We are here taught,
[1.] To found our joy in Christ
[2.] To build up our joy with diligence; for it is the duty as well as privilege of all true believers; no part of the Christian life is pressed upon us more earnestly."
I just love that. Pursue JOY in Christ. And we all know that as we turn our eyes upon Jesus, our affections for this world slowly fade. And it's a beautiful and freeing thing. The only thing harder than doing this -- than releasing our affections for things of this world -- is to hold onto them so tightly that we miss what the Lord has for us. He has abundant life. We are far too easily pleased with what we think is abundance.
This journey I've been on over the past six months has redefined what abundance is to me. Abundance is walking with Christ, and being led by the Holy Spirit, daily. Dying to flesh and choosing to live for Christ. It brought new meaning to that chorus I've sung a hundred times "Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere." I love it when he awakens my soul to words I have sung over and over and gives them fresh new meaning.
I've got a hundred ideas for blog posts whirling around in my head. My prayer is that I'll be more disciplined to write. I want to complete my joy by opening my heart to whoever wants to read about it. I want to share what Christ is doing. I want to experience abundant life by being diligent to find my joy in the author and perfecter of my faith. Who, for the joy set before Him, endured the Cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. And there He rules and reigns...just as He did from the manger on that night in Bethlehem. If that doesn't make you fall to your knees in awe...well....just ask Him to take you there. It's better than a thousand days anywhere else.
